Stop waiting for happiness to happen

A 100-weight loss is usually the inspirational ending to a weight-loss success story.

It’s the moment captured in the celebratory “after” shot people crave to see next to the often blurry, grim before shot. Our hero stands triumphantly showing off a tone and trimmed body. Maybe there’s the obligatory holding up of a giant pair of jeans and a demonstration of how this new body can now fit in one leg.

I love seeing the rewards of hard work and dedication. The photos can be a mood boost to social media timelines and encouragement to many people who desperately want to capture that "after" image. 

Count me in as one of those people.

As I sit here and write this, I am almost at that 100-pounds lost milestone—for the second time. There is not "after" photo shoot in my near future. It's taken me almost four years to get to this point, which is likely the halfway mark of the weight-loss portion of this adventure.  That's right, I have about another 100 or so to go until I start permanent weight maintenance. 

I started at 386.9 pounds. Honestly, it was probably more before that day in July 2017 I stepped on the scale in my doc's office. But that's the official number we're going by, so we'll stick to that.
And, I'll share the story of what finally brought me to the doctor in a future post and what that experience was like. Hint: It wasn't fun. 

The first time I hit that 100-lb milestone was sometime in 2018, I think. You may wonder how I don't know. It's a pretty big deal. I even have a hand-painted megaphone magnet I made for the occasion. But, the truth is, I can't remember the exact day. I can recall stepping on the scale ad not getting the surge of excitement I expected and wanted.

Instead, there was simply "you're still 100-lbs away" from your celebration. It felt anti-climatic. I felt ripped off. 

Over the next year and a half, I slowly started to gain weight again. Yes, I was training for a half-marathon and accomplishing other things along the way. But, I saw those as a means to an end: that feeling of hitting the finish line and the start of living my "after" life. That's when I would truly be happy. 

Throw in a global pandemic that turned the world upside down and I went back over 300 pounds. 

Oh hell no, I said after I closed in on 315.  I will not allow this to go on any longer.

I was not going to allow the boomerang effect to get me another time. That's when people who lose weight not only re-gain what they shed, but often put on more. I've been down that road too many times.

So, I make some changes. I adjusted my focus.

It isn't "better" since I started turning things around in May 2020. It's just different. 

Instead of always looking at how far away my goals are, I'm tackling things day-to-day.

Don't get me wrong. I have my eyes on taking that celebratory photo--and most days, I feel it's a when, not if scenario. Now, my focus is not how long will it take me to get there and when will it be my turn to celebrate what I can do when I reach whatever goal weight I set.

I'm learning to appreciate and celebrate what I am doing DURING this journey and figuring out what makes me happy now. Because by knowing that along the way, it will make it easier to keep it going whenever I hit that goal, no matter how long it takes. 

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